Old Judge Blah
by cheri block sabraw
The dishwasher groaned last night, pleading for a respite from its nonstop labor.
Limp stalks of celery hung over their glasses, swollen with tomato juice and salt.
Even the dog gave up her incessant hunt for the micro crumbs of food hidden under the clump of dirty napkins, tablecloths, and bibs.
The merriment ended Thursday night.
Nephew Adam, a late arrival, won the Turkey Shoot in the dark. That’s right– in the dark with flashlights illuminating the target, 25 yards away. Sixteen-year-old Brent, the early leader, shook his head and retreated to the couch with his girlfriend Phoebe.
Judge Blah never left his recliner the entire holiday.
Propped up with pillows and ice, like Old King Cole, Judge Blah kept that knee above his hips.
He’s a pretty smart guy. There’s a reason he’s a judge.
He chose to have his knee surgery the day before Thanksgiving, thus to be AWOL for the dinner for 27 people.
His mother arrived and fawned over him, as did his sister, his grandchildren, his own children, his brothers, and even his friend Doug, his radiologist.
His usual chores—fire making, dish washing, porch cleaning, garbage hauling—were left to his Fiddler’s Three—Me, Myself, and I.
I’ve written about men before. I’ve been admonished by some that I am attracted to this type of man.
This morning, from the recliner, he asked for prune juice.
I have one more small can, your honor, I said with some satisfaction.
Maybe this is the reason we are friends: I too am attracted to this type of man! Next year, no excuses to feed the 27 hungry mouths! He should start cooking now:-)
Hear! Hear!
Maybe ther’s hope. Uncle Sam used to be a fair facsimile of the Judge, but as he has aged he has matured, and except for the pies, he can pretty much take over. But of course, his cheerleader, Charlie, encourages his participation in a long walk, just as the turkey is ready to pop out of the oven, so old habits are hard to eradicate. Oh well.
I think it prudent for a man to run a test to see if his mate performs well under total disability conditions. It looks like you passed and will likely be kept around by his Honor. If you had failed, he is still young enough to have given you the boot and moved on to a more attentive woman.
And I, likewise.
I am sure there are plenty of younger men who might appreciate such a multi-tasker as I.
You are indeed very wise. Did Elektra give you this guitar?
A knee injury. That’s genius.
I will do some vigorous yogic exercises next Thanksgiving eve, and then recline the entire following day, grimacing in pain every time anybody dares to challenge my affliction.
Perhaps I should warm up this Christmas with sciatica.
But I’m sorry to hear that prune juice became necessary.
The key here is that Judge Blah didn’t have an injury—just a worn out miniscus. He chose to have his surgery the day before Thanksgiving.
And I for one, think his need for prune juice is a just dessert.
It seems everyone had a Good Friday except me. At least it’s Sunday here, so I’m having a Better Day.
Preparing a Thanksgiving dinner for 27 does sound a lot of work.
I’ve always thought spending hour upon hour preparing a meal for others, whether for small numbers or big, is so thankless, since the food is eaten so quickly. A few mouthfuls and it’s gone.
An analogy might be made with writing. You spend inordinate time composing a sentence – writing it, re-writing it, editing it, to achieve perfection for readers who will rush past it at 60 miles an hour, not noticing whether it was beautifully written or not.
Hi Phil,
Those eating on Thursday were most appreciative and did tell me my apple pie was to die for.
You are 100% correct about the written word. The analogy works. I’ve just finished writing my second paper for my professor. Due on Wednesday night. I am still editing. And will he notice?
I’d better earn an A on this one…tee hee.
By the way, I see you have left WordPress and back to Blogger. I don’t see a subscribe button. Have I missed it?
Glad to hear about the apple pie.
“…..I see you have left WordPress and back to Blogger. I don’t see a subscribe button. Have I missed it……?”
I’m still with WordPress, which I’ll use for longer posts. I merely resumed my old Blogger blog, to which I’m posting shorter pieces.
It’s confusing I know. It’s something I seem always to do – confuse people.
Actually, the guitar pictured is one that I rifled from one of my sons who rifled another from me. We enjoy trading our instruments-the one pictured is a monster. Hope your Sunday went better than Friday. Good music seems to help me when I get punky.
Prune juice? You may get the last laugh!
Welcome to the blog!
I did.
I am happy to report that Judge Blah made the coffee last night. He also yelled at the dog, so things are getting back to normal. Judge Blah and Mr. Crotchety have a great deal in common, except that Mr. Crotchety is funny, too.
Thanks! Glad to hear things are stabilizing. I hope I fixed the other comment as you requested. You can whack my duplicate here too. Technology isn’t my strong point.